Immigration Fears and "The Work"

After stewing for a few days on the anti-immigration email, I realized with surprise and laughter at myself, that I had taken the ball and run with it. I thought I was so much better than my friend because I'd never send an anti-immigration email, I wasn't prejudiced, I was so damn self-righteous, it was hilarious!

So, back to the four questions FOR ME this time -

Is it true that my friend is unconscious and uncaring?

It seems true, or she wouldn't send out racist emails.

Can I absolutely know that it's true?

No, I can't absolutely know that it's true. She seems very caring most of the time.

How do I react when I believe the thought that my friend is unconscious and uncaring?

I get mad, judgmental, push her away emotionally. I get self-righteous and think that I'm better than her. I rage an emotional war on my friend. My jaw gets tight, I get all upset, my stomach hurts, I feel nervous and restless and feel bad all over.

Where would I be without the thought that my friend is unconscious and uncaring?

I would be closer to her. I would just "be" with her. I could just delete the email without reacting and making it a lesson on how to be "right" in the world according to me. I would meet her with compassion.

Turn Arounds:

1. My friend is caring and conscious. She's a great mother, she cares about people and wants to help heal them and does that through her work. She's inclusive in her friendships and doesn't act like a racist nor talk like a racist nor show any signs of being racist. She's a kind woman who really loves people.
   
   
2. I am uncaring and unconscious. By taking a tirade and warring on my friend, I was doing exactly what I was accusing her of doing. I flew into my ego faster than lightening, believed my story and told the world how right I was. I judged her, hung her on the cross, and left her there to die. I went totally unconscious and totally self-righteous because I believed my story. I also am uncaring and unconscious about myself and don't nurture growth or understanding or compassion. I judge myself as harshly, if not more than anyone. As long as I do that to myself and believe it, I'm pretty sure it will come out towards someone else.
   
   
3. My thoughts are uncaring and unconscious. When I fly into a tirade about anything that doesn't fit into my ego's rules and my world, I believe I'm right and the world is wrong. That removes me from myself, the world, and any hope of connection with another human being. I don't care about others when I'm in that thought, I don't care about anything but being right. I go unconscious and find nothing but blackness.
   
   
4. I am caring and conscious. I found the work. It helps me work through emotional stress and issues that heretofore would go unquestioned, and I could easily lose a friend. I care about how I live and I want to live in integrity. I'm tired of being the "world's police" which is something I learned long ago from others who didn't know the four questions. I care and I took a baby step today to be conscious.

I will delete emails that have the potential to send me into a tail spin. I will realize that if I'm about to give a sermon to someone about their actions, that I better sit down and ask myself the four questions first, because THAT is where the work needs to be done.

I want peace, and doing the work on myself will facilitate that in my life and in the rest of the world.

Thank you Byron Katie Mitchell - I love that you share The Work. Nameste' - No Mistake...